So I’m sitting here at the brink of turning 45 but I do not feel old at all.

Not even middle aged.

Crazy stories.

I have a wine named after me.

I’m still the same crazy old anarchist who roams the globe year after a year and goes crazy with all the funny people I meet around the globe, unless I am busy working as a tour leader so I can save up for the next mad trip of mine. I thought that I would celebrate my 45th birthday by telling you a bit about crazy stuff I have done around the globe.

This is just a fraction of what I have done and the stories here are true. I can guarantee you that. A couple of them are actually watered down a bit for the sake of some friends. And yes, of course there is sex, booze and nudity involved so Better not read any further if you can not take that sort of stuff.

 

 

Went walking from central London to Stansted airport.

Naezing.

On the way to Stansted airport at a small town called Naezing.

In these days of budget flights, taking the Stansted express to and from Stansted Airport is often more expensive than the flight itself so I decided to walk from central London to Stansted once I was in London for the weekend to party with some friends.

It’s a pretty long journey and it became longer for me as I lost my way and ended up in Epping forest at one point.

All in all it was a fun journey though where I stopped in many pubs along the way for a pint and to ask for directions as I did the walk without maps or GPS.

That created many laughs and strange looks in the face of the people I came across along the way, but the brits are a humorous bunch who like Nutters like me so it was all taken with a smile.

And I ended up at a halloween party in a local pub at the first night where I stayed in a little indian owned hotel in Enfield.

Second day it was pissing rain from dusk till dawn and I got big bad blisters as I walked the last 50 kilometers to the airport.

I had to spend the night at the airport on the floor but I was right next to a

gorgeous argentinian girl so I was just fine and I got my flight back to Denmark the next morning.

 

 

I have eaten breakfast, lunch and dinner in 3 different

countries in one day.

Cous cous.

Moroccoan food is worth flying for.

Once I took a trip to Morocco with 3 friends from Mexico, Hong Kong and France and we had decided to travel down there as cheaply as we could.

We started the trip in France early in the morning with breakfast and then jumped a cheap flight to Girona in Spain where we had a few hours to spend before taking the next flight so we jumped the bus in to Girona which is a beautiful town and had a nice lunch there by the river as well as a nice walk around the old town.

Marrakesh.

Jemaa El Fnaa and all the smoke from the food stalls.

By the end of the afternoon we went back to the airport and now grabbed a flight to Marrakech in Morocco where we managed to arrive just in time for dinner at Jemaa El Fna which has to be one of the most exotic places in the world you can eat dinner.

I actually ended up getting a phone call from my bank because they noticed that my VISA card had been used in 3 different countries the same day and they thought there was some fraud going on, but they didn’t block it once I had explained to them that we were just a bunch of jet setters on a budget holiday.

 

 

 

I almost drowned in indonesian shit once.

 

Once I was close to becoming one of those people who go missing without a trace and is never found again.

I was in Medan in Indonesia and I was sitting having dinner at a local restaurant and had a nice talk to some local school teachers.

As the dinner was coming to an end I decided that I would pay for their dinner but I realized that I was missing a few cents so I told the waiter I would be back in 5 minutes and ran 200 maters down the road to take some money out from a cash machine.

Going back I was running as fast as I could so that the people would not think I was trying to dodge the bill and that was when I didn’t see that there was an uncovered manhole in the street and I went straight down the hole but managed to hold on to the rim with my elbows so I didn’t go all the way down.

In the fall I injured both my legs really badly and could feel the blood running down my right shoe and my left leg was in such pain from slamming in to the rim of the manhole that I thought it was broken.

I had to keep lifting up my injured legs though as I would otherwise have had them covered in all the shit that was down the swede and hang a big open wound in such conditions is not a good thing.

I was not able to lift myself up as I was in so much pain I could not focus so i just kept holding on tot the rim of the hole until a guy walked past around 15 minutes later.

He looked at me and asked if I needed some help to get out of the hole and reacted quickly when I told him yes.

I limped back to the restaurant with shit and blood running down my legs and I was happy to find out the next morning that the leg was not broken and I even managed to avoid an infection in my giant wound, but it gave me a really nice scar that i still carry to prove the story.

And I never got to pay the bill as the indonesian school teaches had paid for it all as they thought I had dodged the bill.

But had I not been able to hold on to the rim of that uncovered manhole and instead knocked my head against it then I would most likely had drowned in shit and been eaten by rats before they even got out to do a proper search for me, but at least I came out of it with a story to tell and a big cool scar.

 

 

I Cycled 6800 kilometers to see two football games.

Albania.

20 minutes of fame on albanian television.

One night I was out in the danish city of Aalborg with my friend Kaj and by the end of the night we got back home in a pretty drunken state and decided to check the draws from the upcoming qualification games for the upcoming football world cup.

Denmark had ended up in a group with Greece, Turkey, Albania, Georgia, Kazakhstan and Ukraine.

We quickly agreed that this was no easy group but some very interesting countries travel wise and I promised in my drunken state that I would cycle to at least one of the away games.

The coming days i was thinking about it and when I saw that the away game against Albania was in october then I decided that this is where I wanted to go on my bicycle.

I could quite comfortable do that in two months and would then cycle in august and september when the weather is mostly agreeable.

Then I went on to look at the dates for the other games and saw that the away game against Georgia was 5 and a half week later and then I quickly looked at my map and figured that if I cycled full speed then I should be able to catch that game too.

It would be a trip between 6500 and 7000 kilometer and take me to both the Alps and the Caucasus mountains but that sounded just perfect to do for a couple of football games.

And so I did.

First I went to Albania where I met some wonderful people I stayed with and they remain my friends to this day and I often go and visit them

After Albania I hit the road across Macedonia, Greece and Turkey where I cycled along the black sea coast over the Georgia where I made it to Tbilisi 3 days before the game was due.

I also ended up becoming a bit of a media darling on that trip and I ended up in 8 danish newspapers, 1 norwegian newspaper, was interviewed live from the road several times by a danish radio station and was on danish television at both football games just as I ended up on two different albanian talk shows which really gave me 20 minutes of albanian fame and I was not able to pay for a beer in Albania after that and did not meet a single albanian the days after the game who did not know who I was.

And the football games:

They ended with a 2-0 win in Tirana and a 2-2 draw in Tbilisi but remember that it is always about the journey not the destination.

I have gone traveling for months without any money at all.

Popeye.

One of the guys I was crashing at the train station with was former world champion in gurning.

I have always wanted to travel.

But when I was younger I did not have so much money so I just went on the road anyway even if I had no money at all and often stayed away for months while working my way around Europe and the middle east which were my main points of call back then as there were work opportunities.

This is probably the most adventurous trips I have done as I very often had no idea where the next day would take me and where the next meal would come from.

And remember that this was back in the day before I had any credit cards and money transfers from home was a big no no for me as I wanted to prove that I could take care of myself when everyone was preaching that I would be home as soon as my money ran out.

During these early trips I often slept at train stations, in parks, at homeless shelters where they actually have some pretty good healthy food in many cases and I have been to the red cross in France a few times to collect my daily bag with bread, cheese and chocolate which they were always handing out to the needy in the afternoon in many french towns.

And I once jumped the fence of a greek supermarket on the island Crete to steal a box of chocolate milk just to learn that it was left outside cause it was sour.

I walked and I hitch hiked as a mode of transport and drove with everything from business men to truck drivers and topless young girls (yes that did happen to me once) as well as many other people ranging from very ordinary to pretty crazy, but I was never afraid of any of them.

When you travel like that you really meet some people who live on the edge and some pretty crazy people too but this was the greatest part of the adventure and today when I am an old fart who travel the world with two credit cards it’s nice to think back at my young years where I was sleeping with the gypsies in the park and sometimes going 3-4 days without food, but also without worries.

I’m quite sure I will not be doing this again but I will highly recommend it to all young people with a lust for life and a lust for the road.

 

I once jumped naked through a rubbish chute in Vietnam.

Nha Trang.

Nha Trang is wonderful but remember the security key if you go to the roof top pool for late night swimming and hanky panky.

Last year I had just finished a job as a tour leader in Vietnam and was traveling around the country on my own when I one night ended up in a rooftop pool of a hotel in Nha Trang.

With me was an australian girl and we were both pretty damn drunk and pretty damn naked and we were not exactly acting like our mother would like us to.

This would have turned in to just another wild night with a random funny girl you meet when you travel if it was not because we ended up locking ourself out on the roof.

There was no staircase from the roof and the elevator would not work when we had to get back down, so here we were facing an entire night sitting naked on the roof until we were hopefully found the next morning, but since I was not staying at the hotel and she was the manager of the hotel this was not really an ideal situation for any of us to be standing here naked in the morning.

My australian friend reacted by sitting naked in a beach chair and looking like she had gone in to coma so I decided I had to try everything in order to get us down.

I started to go through all corners of the roof and came across a broom closet.

In the broom closet there was a rubbish chute and when looking in to it I could see light coming out from what looked like the top floor apartment where the australian girl was staying.

The hole was big enough for me to climb in to so I decided to take the chance and jump down the rubbish chute and hopefully be able to stop by the time I reached the place where there was light.

If not then I would just have to slide 6 floors down and hope that i ended up somewhere soft and somewhere where I could get out.

I got down to the light quite nicely and found out it was a little window that was leading in to her apartment so I used my football skills and kicked the window open and climbed through it and in to the apartment where I found the security key we had forgotten lying on the kitchen table.

I also took a quick shower so that I could go back to the roof  looking like a hero and not like a chimney sweep with the smell of a sewage.

Walking.

I will keep traveling and so should you.

Well well, this was a few little stories from me.

I think you should all come out with some of yours.

Remember it’s always more fun to laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.

 

8 Comments

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  5. Hahahah! I love the story of you almost drowning in shit. I’m glad you got rescued.

  6. I still love your Albania story. One of my favorites

  7. Haha this is a hilarious post! Love all the stories.

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  9. You certainly have your share of stories, Claus. But man, that manhole thing was scary!!! I hope you don’t have more stories like that!

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